I’m Not OK

There was a television show, This is Us . I binge watched the first season shortly after it premiered. One of the last episodes showed tragic death of one of the main characters. Even though his death was “expected”, it was horrible to watch. I cried and screamed at the TV.

As much as I loved the show for its well developed characters and excellent script. I couldn’t continue watching it. The entire premise of the show was how a family continues after the unexpected death of the patriarch. I never watched another episode of the six seasons.

I explained this scenario in a recent meeting with my psychiatrist. Within the span of an hour, this complete stranger helped me realize that the “work” I’ve done on myself over the past twelve years has not helped much in my grieving process. I am bereaved. And I’m not OK.

This revelation…that I’m not OK is a shocker. I thought I was well on my way to getting my life back. I mean, I’ve written an entire book on my mother’s death which was an awesome release of sadness and overwhelm.

But my doctor explained that the road rage I experience, the loss of meaningful friendships, and my irritability all stem from avoiding my real issue of grief.

This hour-long session was eye-opening to say the least. My doctor’s explanations of why I feel the way I feel helped me understand the condition of my life over the past 12 years. He gave me tools to assist in moving forward in a meaningful way and supplied me with suggestions to do things a bit differently.

Are you OK? In this day and age so many of us are experiencing mental health issues that hinder us from thriving. Let’s begin the work of being OK in every aspect of our lives.