It was decided a few months ago that I would be kinder to myself: more loving, more patient, softer, easier.
I was going through a hard time. Things were topsy turvy. I slept twelve hours a day to escape it all. But that didn’t help. I felt my heart was dripping out of my chest. Slowly, painfully.
I began taking myself on dinner dates. Sitting alone in a restaurant is incredibly peaceful. You’re able to focus on your food, your breath, your thoughts. It is a beautiful experience.
I also began going to the movies alone. Often, I’d sit in a near-empty theater in the middle of the afternoon, calmed by the darkness. Sitting alone in a theater is incredibly peaceful. You’re able to focus on your food, your breath, your thoughts. It is a beautiful experience.
I took lots of bubble baths. I bought myself a bath pillow and forced myself to relax. It was heavenly. Sitting in a tub filled with bubbles helped me focus on my body, my breath, my thoughts. It is a beautiful experience.
Reading had again become a large part of my day. I get vested in the novels I read. I run through a gamut of emotions with a book in hand. I’d get excited, stressed, angry, and shocked all while reading a book.
I’m more at peace now. God has helped me with that. I’m learning to turn all my….stuff over to him. It’s freeing. I’m praying about everything and trying to be better: more loving, more patient, softer, easier.
