Today, I feel dumb.
There was a job interview yesterday. This is a position I really want. Not much preparation was needed- no documents to read over. Nothing to review. I felt confident. I smiled, made jokes, answered questions.
All the while I was scatterbrained. I rambled, laughed nervously, gestured with my hands one too many times, spouted key concepts that were unrelated to the questions.
I was a mess. And I wasn’t secure with any of my answers. My nervousness, insecurity and lack of preparation (along with my lack of knowledge) got the best of me.
This leads me to think…am I really as smart as I believe? I don’t communicate well. My anxiety always takes over and causes me to fumble. My ideas don’t get across and I’m always, always worried about what others think.
Maybe my fun loving, bubbly personality is just a cover for my insecurity. Maybe I make jokes so people will laugh and overlook my lack of confidence- lack of knowledge.
I don’t know. I just really feel dumb today.
